Waiting

So now we are done, hope for recovery is gone.  His MRI last week showed progression of the Leptomenengial Disease and his ventricles are filled with fluid, causing pressure on the brain.  We are not continuing chemo.  He is really stable right now, the morphine drip pump has been added to his long list of apparatus that has moved into our home to keep him comfortable.  He dosn't respond at all except for a small eye blink once in a while, he doesn't hold on to our fingers anymore.  What is he waiting for?  It is so hard to see him like this, when he be ready to fly away from this world and that sweet little body.  He is so strong and mommy is so proud of the fight he has put up.  You would think that I would eventually dry up and run out of tears.  But when I think of the future without him and his potential that is wasted, it breaks my heart and the tears come again.