Uh-uh, how can he be gone?

Most of you didn't know this kid.  And my baby is no more special than yours but Junior was like living light.  He never complained, he was so good, so happy, so funny, so caring.  How can that kind of life die?  Tell me all you want that he is with God or Jesus or whoever the fuck else, or in a better place, or looking down on us, it's all bullshit.  I need to know what happened to that bright shining light that was Junior.  I ask the stars, I pray for God to give me peace, I look everywhere for a sign.  Nothing.  Baby, are you OK?  We miss you so much, mommy needs to know that you are safe and warm and happy.  I am so sorry, so fucking sorry.